WALT use the correct structure and language in our writing.
On Saturday
On Saturday me and my mum went to a cafe in Kaitaia
to eat lunch. I had some pancakes with butter and syrup.
They were delicious. The syrup dripped on my plate.
It looked yum I wanted to lick my plate.
to eat lunch. I had some pancakes with butter and syrup.
They were delicious. The syrup dripped on my plate.
It looked yum I wanted to lick my plate.
My mum had a hot coffee
Next we picked some berries from the bush at the bike track.
The bush was prickly. 4 hours later I had 1 berry. It tasted yum.
The bush was prickly. 4 hours later I had 1 berry. It tasted yum.
After that I went home.
I watched a movie to wait for dinner. We had eggs and
bacon. Then we had dessert. We had berry pie.
It was delicious.
It was delicious.
Finally I went to bed.
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ReplyDeleteKia Ora Jayvier, this is Rawiri. I liked the way you used poppy words in your story like telling about the syrup dripping on your plate. This reminded of when I went a place with pancakes with some syrup and butter on top. Maybe next time you could try to use some talking in your writing.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteKia ora Jayvier, this is TeAorangi. I like the way you use timewords and
ReplyDeleteyou were telling your reader when, who and where.